Dear Facebook,

I’m leaving you.

Don’t worry. It’s not you. It’s me.

I’m just not feeling myself lately. I’m feeling caught up. I’m feeling…unsettled.

I don’t know how it started, or what triggered it, because you are just you. You’ve always been you. A place for people to share their lives.

Seems simple enough. Innocent. Pure.

But lately, something’s changed. I can’t put my finger on what I’m feeling because I don’t quite understand it yet.

I don’t think it’s about competition or validation. I’m not jealous or envious of other people. I genuinely enjoy seeing other people succeed, be happy, and in general, enjoy life.

But lately, it all seems so fake. So inauthentic. So consuming…

I started to become aware of it when a friend of mine posted about her ex-husband. They had been fully, legally divorced for about four months; however, he had begun posting pictures of them together and talking about how much he loved his wife and linking to articles about how to keep your marriage healthy.

Clearly, he was grieving.

But their friends were confused. Did they reunite?

No. As she stated in her post “that is his reality, but we are in no way back together.”

His reality was not real.

What seemed real was this ordinary man was going a little mad. Having a sort of public meltdown and using Facebook as his platform to build an alternate reality.

A reality he could understand, control, and live in.

The problem, it seemed, was he wasn’t really living at all.

I know. We all deal with our pain and loss in our own way. That’s healthy and good. However, I wondered how long he would deceive himself with this one way conversation and one sided relationship that was his past?

By living in the past; he was denying himself the present.

As they say: Self-deception is the worst deception of all.

Then, there is the business side of Facebook. The ads. The sponsored posts. The continual calls for us to give our time and money and energy to something we may or may not need…or want.

It’s intrusive at best; destructive at worst.

I don’t know. Maybe because part of my work involves marketing, I’m more sensitive to it. More aware.

And lately for me, the combination of offline marketing and online marketing has just seemed to become overwhelming.

I mean really…can I just watch a video and learn how to cook something without a dozen ads flashing and dancing in front of me?

Can I watch a television show without 10 minute commercials?

Can I enjoy a movie without being interrupted by a little pop up in the bottom corner of the screen telling me about another show I should be watching?

Can y’all please just allow me to live fully in the present moment?

Where’s the connection? Where’s the Zen? Where’s the relationships?

Where’s life?

So, Facebook…I’m leaving you. Maybe for a little while; maybe forever.

I’m curious whether or not my life can be lived more fully, more authentically if I’m not distracted by your siren song of a ‘like’ or ‘share’ to validate my existence.

Don’t worry, I’ll be fine. You’ll be fine. This is not about you, Facebook. It’s about me.

Love, me


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